A year ago...
November 6th marks the date in which I found the lump in my breast - one year ago. Life was never to be the same for me again. I have not said this to many of my friends especially those who kept telling me it wasn't cancerous but I knew deep in my heart it was cancer from the moment I felt the lump. Your instincts tell you and as much as you want to ignore it you know you're right.
The past couple of days I have been thinking back to that moment and reliving the weeks which followed and my state of mind. I have never been so scared in my life. I can't tell you the amount of crying I did especially when it was confirmed it was cancer after the biopsy. For the first time in my life I felt as though I was face to face with death. Little did I know that in a few months time while going through chemotherapy I would "feel" the process of death.
From where I stand today I can say I am proud of how I managed to get through it all. I realize now I was given a second chance at life. My warning had been given and now the rest is up to me. I thank the Universe every day for my second chance.
Part of me still gets scared but I think that is natural. I have a checkup with the oncologist at the end of December and I'm supposed to have a mammagram done in January. It'll be stressful but I know I can get through it and just as my instinct last year told me it was cancer it also still continues to tell me that everything will be just fine now.
The past couple of days I have been thinking back to that moment and reliving the weeks which followed and my state of mind. I have never been so scared in my life. I can't tell you the amount of crying I did especially when it was confirmed it was cancer after the biopsy. For the first time in my life I felt as though I was face to face with death. Little did I know that in a few months time while going through chemotherapy I would "feel" the process of death.
From where I stand today I can say I am proud of how I managed to get through it all. I realize now I was given a second chance at life. My warning had been given and now the rest is up to me. I thank the Universe every day for my second chance.
Part of me still gets scared but I think that is natural. I have a checkup with the oncologist at the end of December and I'm supposed to have a mammagram done in January. It'll be stressful but I know I can get through it and just as my instinct last year told me it was cancer it also still continues to tell me that everything will be just fine now.
1 Comments:
At 7:27 a.m.,
String said…
Congrats you have done so well! Amazing, what you have gone through-definately keep me posted -and especially right before any visits, so I can do some visualizing! I was just thinking about cancer and that 'knowing' feeling that all is not right...thinking about you, and here's a post about it! LUMPS BE GONE!
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