Whine time

Okay, I've come to a decision. I rather go through the nausea than the muscle aches and pains. Yes, I've gone through child birth and even that looks better. Even though my symptons now are not as severe as my first Taxol treatment the discomfort I'm feeling is annoying. I feel as though someone as beaten the shit of of me. I move slowly, my feet hurt, my legs hurt, water tastes like tin, I'm gaining weight from the steriods, I feel uncomfortable from the weight gain, I'm tired of wearing the wig, I'm emotionally tired and this whole thing is out of character for me. I normally do not whine this much when I'm in physical discomfort but I feel like the kid who keeps getting poked with a stick after being beaten up. I've had enough. There....that's all I needed, just a few minutes of your time out there to listen to me release it all. Thank you.

I know I have two more chemo treatments left and I think when you see the end of all it near you tend to get a little more impatient. The chemo will be over with soon but radiation begins three weeks after and then there are the follow up appointments, hormone treatments etc...etc...etc... I have a 6 month follow up appointment coming up in June with the surgeon. Can you believe it will be 6 months soon?? I am nervous about it and I'm sure every follow up appointment will bring with it some anxiety. The cancer returning is always in the back of one's mind but all I can do is trust my instincts and my instincts say I will be just fine. Fear has a funny way of creeping it's way back in when your defences are down.

So...with my whining out of the way I'll talk about what I have to look forward to: being cancer free, MY HAIR, eating sushi, drinking the occasional glass of wine, losing weight, getting into shape, going back to yoga, normal looking finger nails, not have to worry about catching other people's colds or worry about cutting or bruising myself and most importantly GETTING ON WITH LIFE ITSELF!

So on that note I feel much better and I'm off to enjoy the rest of my Mother's Day.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mums out there!