A Long Overdue Update

I noticed this morning it has been two months since my last update. I vowed to continue this blog after all my treatments because beating breast cancer doesn't end with treatments. As we all know it is a life changing experience and the battle continues each day. To fight it we must eat properly, exercise, change our way of thinking and live a life of good karma.

I am very happy that my treatments are finished and I hope never to go back to that unhealthy "place" (meaning body) again. Every once in a while I still feel the after effects of the radiation. I feel tired but that is slowly disappearing. Every day I count my blessings and thank the Universe for my second chance.

I have had "bad" days. One of the things which can happen after you have completed all your treatments is a sense of fear. It's a fear that nothing is protecting you. Even though chemo is tough in the back of your mind you know it is killing any dorminant cancer and radiation is destroying anything leftover around the lump. Once all that ends so does your protection. I have had bad days where I panic and think the cancer has returned but to my other breast or other parts of my body. I check my breasts on a regular basis probably too much now. The fear of it's return is always on my mind. I know I have to change that way of thinking because I could end up creating it's return. Crazy you say? Well, if we can use visualization for good cannot the same be said for the negative? So on my good days I visualize a cancer free life. I think it's only natural to have days when your day is going haywire that you think negative thoughts about your health. I just keep telling myself I was meant to live because of all the circumstances which lead to it's discovery.

I've lost half the weight I've gained since the beginning of January. I am feeling better for it and not as uncomfortable. I continue to exercise anywhere from 3x to 4x a week and I still love it and the "morning group" I've become friends with. I'm trying hard to eat more fruits and vegetables and smaller quantities. The one thing in our society is this notion of "super sizing" everything. If you start and continue to eat smaller portions your stomach will adjust to it. I try each day to drink 8 glasses of water a day and in my quiet times I meditate and visualize. One thing I haven't done yet is return to yoga. Once I lose more weight I'll go back. Right now I feel with the body I have now I am not comfortable going into certain positions.

My eyebrows and eyelashes didn't take long to return. My hair is about an inch to an inch and a half long. I could probably go without the wig but my comfort level isn't allowing that right now. It doesn't look like a haircut but that I am recovering from something. Perhaps by Christmas or January. My hair is incredibly soft, like a baby's and still thick. It's amazing to see the progress. Oh yes, there are a few grey hairs tucked in there. But after what I have been through that is minor.

I will continue to update this blog although it may not be on a regular basis. I have my 6 month checkup at the end of December and they are calling me soon about my mammagram in January. I also have a checkup with the surgeon in March. This will be a part of my life for the next few years. That doesn't bother me because I know it's for my benefit. I will probably feel anxious as anyone would but we can only hope all will be well at each checkup. Again, visualization and a healthy life style will help me in this.

The only thing I've learned in this past year is how lucky I am. I am grateful for everything and everyone. Life is too precious. Live, love and laugh often.

More updates coming soon. Thank you all for your love and support this past year!